Have you heard that Tesla’s don’t have that new car smell? They have more of an Elon Musk.
What is brown and sticky? A Stick
Which road did Satan take whilst on his road trip? Route 666
What kind of car does Yoda drive around in? A Toyoda
What did the jack say to the car on the side of the road? Can I give you a lift?
This morning I crossed the road, changed a lightbulb and walked into a bar. I think my life is turning into a joke
Why did the math booklet look so sad? Because of all of its problems!
A while back, I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.
What name do you call a thieving alligator? A crookodile
What do you use to count cows? With a cowculator.
A computer beat me at chess the other day. But it was no match for me at kickboxing.
Why did the coffee complete a police report? It got mugged.
You never know where you should when eating a banana.
What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos
How does a lion like to eat his meat? Roar
What do you call a Ford Fiesta when it runs out of gas? A Ford siesta
. Don’t you just hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
What do ghosts eat in the summer? I Scream.
I asked my dog today what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
Why don’t dogs make very good dancers? Because they have two left feet
Where do fish like to keep their money? In a river bank
Miss three consecutive payments of Tesla. Then the car drives itself back to the sales house
Did you hear about that semi-colon which broke the law? He was given two consecutive sentences.
What makes amputees so good at road trips? They’re always on the last leg.
What did the duck say whilst he bought lipstick? Put it on my bill.
I got a brand new Tesla for my wife. It was a pretty decent trade, if you ask me.
How do you make a tissue dance? Just put a little boogie in it.
What did the man at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job? Oh snap!
What is a spiders favorite event? Webbings.
Where do bees use the bathroom on road trips? The BP station.
What did the horse say after it fell over? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
What always washes up on tiny beaches? Microwaves
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish? Swimming trunks.
If Apple made a car…would it still have windows?
Did you hear the one about the crook who stole a calendar? He only got twelve months.
Have you ever been on a road trip to the Seagate factory? It’s such a hard drive!
What is a cheetahs favorite type of food? Fast food!
I was wondering today why my frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.
Want me to tell you a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.
What do you call the combination of Tesla, SpaceX, and The Boring Company? The three Musketeers!
How do you know that elephants love to travel? They always pack their own trunk!
Why didn’t the fungus get invited on the road trip? Because there wasn’t mushroom!
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory today. All I did was take the day off!
What kind of jungle cat is absolutely no fun to play games with? A cheetah!
When I wrecked my last car, I finally solved the mystery of whether or not a Mercedes bends.
What has more letters than the alphabet? The post office!
Do you know how a penguin builds its house? Igloos it together.
Someone keyed our music teacher’s car today. Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor
What did the Indian Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, it just waved.
What type of cereal do cats eat? Mice Krispies.
Did you hear about the biggest cause of road rage? Cross roads!
Where do hamburgers go to dance? A meatball.
What kind of nut hates money? Cash ew
I saw a fake noodle in my dinner today. What an Impasta.
Most people are absolutely shocked when they find out how terrible I am as an electrician.
I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the this morning whilst inside my fort.
Who does a pharaoh talk to when he’s feeling upset? His mummy
Why did the can crusher leave his job? Because it was soda pressing!
My mom laughed today when I said I was going to build a truck out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face as I drove pasta.
Today I scored 9 out of 10 on my driving assessment. The last guy was able to get out of the way.
On a hot summers day, what do frogs like drinking? Croak-a-Cola!
Where does an enormous elephant sit? Anywhere it wants to!
What’s far worse than when it’s raining cats and dogs? Hailing Taxi.
What kind of tree fits perfectly in your hand? A palm tree!
Why did the witches’ team lose the cricket game last night? Their bats flew away.
Did you hear the rumor going around about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it!
Looking for more entertainment? Check out our article on Road Trip Questions to ignite the conversation!
Another excellent way to stay entertained in the car is by listening to a book. We recommend this Free Audiobook Trial to get you started!
Copyright notice – These jokes were adapted from well known jokes posted all over internet. They have all been posted on many different platforms and sites, so it seems almost impossible to pinpoint the original source. If you strongly think that one of these is “your joke”, please send us a message!