Are you in the mood for some funny driving quotes? Perhaps you’re about to embark on a long grueling road trip with some friends, and you need to collate some funny driving memes to get you through. Well, we’re here to help.
We don’t want you laughing too hard whilst behind the wheel, but we’re sure these hilarious quotes about cars and driving will get you from A to B in a light-hearted fashion. We’re no comedy experts, but some people clearly have a knack for cracking some jokes, and we’ve put together the best ones for you to enjoy.
Don’t be afraid to share these on social media or with friends or family. Most importantly, enjoy the trip!
Funny Driving Quotes
Let’s kick off with some laugh-out-loud funny driving quotes…
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” – George Carlin
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” – Mark Twain
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams
“There are two things no man will admit he cannot do well, drive and make love.” – Stirling Moss
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” – Steven Wright
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.” – Tom Lichtenheld
“Men can read maps better than women cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles.” – Roseanne Barr
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.” – George Burns
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.” – Dan Rather
Funny Quotes About Cars
Funny enough? Now for some funny quotes about cars…
“Never have more children than you have car windows.” – Erma Bombeck
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'” – Rita Rudner
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel” – Unknown
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.” – Enzo Ferrari
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” – Prince Philip
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.” – Jeff Stahler
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.” – Francoise Sagan
Check out our other article full of the best quotes about cars!
Iain founded The Road Trip Expert in 2019 and continues to manage the website to this day. The inspiration to start the blog came during an extensive road trip around Europe with two friends that spanned several months and involved over 25,000km of driving. He started backpacking in 2014 and has had the pleasure of exploring over 60 countries. Read more on the About page.